New invention idea: vibrating tampons
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
