So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
