I love black thongs
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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