also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
