you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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