I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
