if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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