gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
