well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
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