Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i will never coherently bang her
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
