im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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