and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
