I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
