16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
