my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
