every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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