I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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