I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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