My room smells like vodka and shame
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
