At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
