TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
