Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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