I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
