the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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