Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
