i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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