the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
