It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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