i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
