I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
