dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
