finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
