I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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