She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
