oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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