I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
never play flip cup with pint glasses
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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