The best revenge is premature balding
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize