i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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