Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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