i think my tv is drunk
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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