i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
