The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
