ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
