I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
it hurts more in the daytime
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
