I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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