her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
