i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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