you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
