the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize