Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
