Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
