im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
