i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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