On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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