so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
