i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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