I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
