apparently the secret to your success is patron
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
