do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
