Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
