Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it was like having sex with a tree stump
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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