For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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