I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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