Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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