Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
