Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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