Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
