My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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