Nicole vs. Life
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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