please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
