Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We left the knife in your bed.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
