He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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