So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
