yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
