its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
