I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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