will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
